Natto your father's idea of food...

So, finally on Friday I got to taste the infamous "Natto". Natto is, for all intents and purposes, Japans perfectly crafted Foreigner repellent. Just like Australia's Vegimite.

It is... fermented soy beans (I mean, really, they have done just about everything else to Soy beans here, why not let them rot too...)

I had an inkling something was up when my principal said; "We have special treat for you in lunch today..." And then motioned me over to the table...

It looks rather innocent; it is sealed (That should be the first hint) in a cup exactly the same size and shape as those little ice creams we all got for school lunch... But once you peel back the lid...

I should say at this moment that if you want to know what the smell of natto is; Go and purchase Testors #12 modelling glue... it smells exactly the same... exactly. Like a petrol product...

Then you are supposed to stir this stuff...

I guess soy beans secrete something when they rot, because the beans were stuck together with a translucent web of something (Which looked, well... like Testors #12 Modelling glue was poured into the batch)... it was very sticky...

So, I did what everyone else was doing; I poured it onto my rice,

This is a misnomer; It stuck to the cup, I had to fish it out with my chopsticks and then shake it off of said chopsticks and nearly beg to get it to stay on my rice...

But, ultimately, it did... and so I proceeded to eat this (Beans doused in modelling glue). Most westerners have said they can't stand Natto because of the smell... the smell only set up that voice in my head that sounds like dad which said; "Son, don't eat modelling glue..."... But it didn't make me gag, or die, or anything...

I look around suddenly and realize everyone is looking at me... I had impressed my fellow teachers who were sure I'd hate it...

Then I realized one of my teachers is sitting away from the table... My principal notices as well, and asks, "Don't you like Natto, (Language Arts) Teacher?"

To which (Language Arts) Teacher says; "That stuff will kill you."

Everyone laughs, and the Principal says: "Guy here is eating Natto just fine... He is more Japanese than you!" Everyone laughs (Including Language Arts Teacher)...

Later, after lunch, Language Arts Teacher comes over to me and says:

"Japanese Secret weapon; Natto. 5 Oclock tonight... BAM! Bomb. Stomach explode..." He illustrates. He is actually a really fun fellow, and this is obviously said in great fun (I can't write it like he said it but he had an epic grin on his face as he conveyed the secret weapon's devistating power). I told him if I had any adverse effects, I'd alert him on Monday.

Monday rolls around, and I seemed to have survived just fine. For the day, however, the first years are on a tip into the city, so we just have second and third year teachers in the staff room (Language Arts Teacher is a first year teacher). But I notice a note on my desk.

It's from Language Arts Teacher (In English);

"To Mr. Guy.

Sorry. I have to go "(school trip)". Natto Bomb was hit for Teacher's room, at 5 O'clock. They will be sick and go hospital. Just now. Perhaps you be alone. But don't mind! This funny strategy means is "Welcome to Japan celemony". for Guy. (Old Traditional)
Have a nice day!!
From (Language Arts) Teacher."

I can't help it, that was awesome, I had to write a response:

(In Japanese)

Science Teacher:

Are you feeling better? I was worried about you! This is awful! You knew it would hit, didn't you? Don't worry, I survived the Natto Bakudan (Big Bomb) because I practiced eating modelling glue in my childhood. As for the school, it is also doing just fine. The phones rang a lot, but I simply said "Hello, (MySchool)! Please speak English only!". Of course I couldn't understand their response, so I simply said; "Okay... bye!" and hung up.
Please get better soon!

---Guy

Yep... I'm felling very much welcome here... :)

---Me.