We are Patrol

Every day is an experience for me. Sometimes they are bad (Squid rings come to mind-Exactly like onion rings... except without the onion part...), but most of the time they are very interesting and good.

Today, my friend the Language Arts teacher (Whom I erroneously reported earlier as a science teacher) suddenly walked up to my desk with keys in hand just as the 3:00 bell rang and said:

"Time to go! I'm driving!"...

Okay, I'm game... So I go change shoes into my outside shoes (It should be noted this is still a procedure for me, while the other teachers can do it with amazing speed...), and I walk outside just as Language Arts Teacher is pulling up.

I hop into his car along with another teacher who gets in behind me.

"Patrol" he says, "We are patrol".

And off we go, into the streets of MyTown.

Like most of Japan that isn't Tokyo, Kyoto or some other big city area MyTown has streets that are simply too small for a subcompact to drive on... these streets usually subdivide rice fields that have been the same rice fields for probably 500 or more years. Thus the road of which we are driving on was originally designed to carry one person and a small cart (Japan didn't get horses until a little later in their respective history), with just enough room for them to dodge a passing Samurai... Japan has been Japan for a very long time... The roads are paved now (And have "Stop" painted on them at intersections)... but they are no larger than they were 500 years ago.

So, here we are in a subcompact driving on these roads... I'm looking for Samurai, personally...

Then we come up on a clutch of 2nd year girls on their bikes.

The teacher in the back rolls down his window as we pass the girls; "How are you doing?" He asks, the girls respond "Okay." "Be careful" he instructs, the girls nod and continue on.

"Do you know "Chikan"?" My Language Arts Teacher friend in the driver seat asks as we pull past the girls and drive into what must be a very ancient bamboo forest (And very small, I might add). I wrack my brain... "Chikan" is the word a woman is supposed to yell on a train when she is being groped... That's not good...

"Pervert?" I ask (In Japanese).

"Yes, this is dangerous area. Many pervert here. We are patrol for pervert."

I'm dumbfounded... I mean, yes I guess there are perverts everywhere who will want to do horrid things to 14 year old girls... but I guess it never occurred to me that it would happen here... in the middle of nowhere-Japan... Tokyo, okay... MyTown? Woah...

We come up on another group of 3rd years (Note that for the most part all of our children ride bikes)... they are stopped ahead... We come up behind them and stop as well... this is like a scene from COPS... the girls turn to notice us as we get out of the car and walk up to them...

"Are you girls okay?" Asks the Other Teacher.

"She is looking for her K-tai" (Cel Phone) says one girl... we are out in the boonies of Japan... in a bamboo forest that was intentionally planted right here some 600 years ago which is rife with perverts and this 14 year old is looking for her cel-phone... you can see why I am often completely lost in the irony of this place?

"Can you move along, though?" Asks Language Arts Teacher, "This isn't the best place for you girls to stop..."

"Sure... sorry." Says another of the 3rd years. We get back into the car and follow them until they get out of the forest and back into open rice fields.

"asdlkgjas alkjfglaegiaj aa alkbjte ai Conbini" Says Language Arts Teacher as we get back into more normal city streets (Two sub-compacts can ply these roads... which is why I'm always unnerved when a semi-truck passes...). I know the word Conbini... that is "Convenience Store". Language Arts Teacher follows that up with "I hear Conbini calling me." In English.

Ah... I get it now... We are all the same... no matter what country.... :)

From the back (In excellent English, I might add) Other Teacher adds: Excuse me, I seem to have forgotten my wallet." Which incites a laugh from all of us in the car.

We stop real quick at a 7-11 (Yes, they have 7-11's here...), and go inside. We all pick up something, and then Language Arts teacher grabs everything and pays for it... I protest, and he says: "Patrol pay"... He is a good man.

We go outside and Other Teacher (I will figure out what he does someday... I'm still learning their names, however) starts singing "Take me home"... Language Arts teacher joins him, and they both start to sing (Not loudly, mind you... they are just singing)... we get to "West Virginia", and I am helping them out... then we get to "Mountain Mama..." which dumbfounds them...

"Mountain... Mother" I say in Japanese... ""Mama" is like Mama in Japanese" I add in Japanese. (In just English, however, that sentence sounds really strange :D)

So we resume our patrol, and come up on a group of 2nd year boys, who look like they were thinking about brawling... we break that up (We are still teachers out here), and we continue on..

We come up on a lone 1st year girl, walking along a rice field (Those rice fields occupy anywhere a building does not... and vice versa... with a slight peppering of bamboo forests here and there...). We pull up behind her and she suddenly notices us... We startled her (our first years aren't used to patrols yet, I guess). We go down the script:

"Are you okay?"

"Yes."

"Please be careful."

"Okay."

And she watches us as we toodle along our merry way...

"We surprised her" I say in Japanese.
"I think she was more surprised to see her English teacher." Language Arts Teacher says, laughing.

We all laugh...

Many of my fellow English teachers talk about their bonding experiences with their respective staves which involved lots of alcohol and singing really bad karaoke.

Language Arts Teacher didn't have to bring me along (In fact... I can't say "Are you okay?" "Be careful" etc... Because I can't understand their answers... so I'm not really all that useful yet at all... perhaps someday, but not yet)... but he did bring me along.

My bonding experience did involve singing... but it was much more important.

Because we were Patrol.
--Me.