I am homeless, therefore I am a terrorist...
So, I intended to open an account with Citibank here in Texas because it is the only American bank that is rather prolific in Japan...
Easy enough, right?
Well, it turns out that because of the Patriot act, I need to have proof that I live with my father... a bill, or something that comes from an official agency...
Which, of course, I don't have...
I tried using my Colorado address, but since I don't really live there anymore, that would be fraud... They won't let me do it... rather, they will let me do it, but during the reference check process (Also required by the Patriot Act), it will prove that I am no longer in Colorado, and I'll be hauled off to... well... wherever they haul off people who commit fraud and all in violation of the Patriot act...
Of course, the next time I have a permanent address, it will be in Japan...
...but then I can't open a domestic bank account, as I won't be living in America...
Now... here is probably what I'm going to have to do; I'm going to have to head over to the Texas Department of Public Safety and get a Texas ID card... which -Apparently- isn't subject to the restrictions of the Patriot Act...
But, at least it's not going to be fraud, or a terrorist act...
Of course, a terrorist could theoretically pay $50 and get a Texas ID card as well...
posted by Aabh @ 10:23 AM
4 Comments:
Actually, Colorado still qualifies as your place of residence. Your lease is still good, as is your automobile registration, and your current bank accounts. Not to mention utility bills, etc...
Not fraud, dear friend, but a loophole. And fairly easy to exploit.
Then you just use online banking to change your address when you get to Japan.
Fortunately, in a few weeks, you'll be able to say that this is not YOUR government at work. :-)
Jer, that was what I said too... but they seemed to have a problem with it... Perhaps I'll take my Excel energy bill in and give it a try anyway... :)
Ev, you know, there is a certain truth to that :)
I managed to get it to work, I simply went in there and said; "If I don't open this account, I won't be able to pay rent." To which they gave me a rather quizzical look... as terrorists don't pay rent... Then they realized I wasn't homeless, and thus they opened my account...
Actually; I just went in there and we figured out how to exploit Jer's loophole :D
Post a Comment
<< Home