Endlish part one

Some great things written on papers that I have graded:

On a first year spelling test: "Speak": Spit, Spark, Spock (I loved that one, completly out of the blue), and Kret (No clue where he was getting that from). There was also one "Hanasu" (Japanese for "Speak" written in English)

Also on that test:

"Are you Ms. Goon?"
"He is my fraft"
"Is this a Scoty?"

One of my kids actually has "Engrish" written on her English file folder ("Engrish" is the word used to describe English words printed on products here because "they look cool". They rarely make sense, however and are often hilarious)

I shall call these wonderful works of art, Endlish, as was printed on yet another of my second years' file folders.

And this concludes my massive Blog update for the night. I have more, but I'd like to give you folks time to digest these posts first.

---Me.

Returning Players

Well, this week has been the week of returning characters in my blog:

We start with a Genki-chan story.

Every morning since the beginning of the school year, we play "Row or Cross" with the 3rd years. They stand to perform the greeting (This is standard practice in every class), and then we keep them standing while I ask questions. The first person with the correct answer gets a sticker (My kids LOVE stickers) and they can choose row or cross. With that, either the row or the cross (Cross-ways) may sit down. It's a clever way to get them to practice listening and answering (Correctly) English questions.

Well, since we have come back from Summer break, my kids have forgotten their English. So I've been doing a little visit down memory lane for these guys.

So about halfway through I get to: "What color are your name tags?" The kids raise their hands, Ms. Third Year picks one of them, "They are Red" is the reply.

Correct.

So then I ask: "What color..."

Genki-Chan has raised her hand.

Okay... well, thinking I'll be a smart-ass, I pick on her, of course.

"Okay Genki-Chan, what is the answer?"

She looks at me with a perfect poker-face and says (In Japanese); "You were going to ask what color your eyes were." Then in English; "They are blue."

She never ceases to surprise me. She gets a sticker.

The girls are all very fascinated with my blue eyes. They think they are very cool... I have been interrogated by Class3-1President-chan for an entire lunch time about how my eyes became blue (They must have thought they were once brown, but have turned blue with time or something...)

On to the second years:

We have a lovely young lady, whom I have an immense amount of respect for. She is part of the Kendo team, and a particularly strong Kendo-Ka, and she is hideously cute (She's the one who looked at me with THOSE eyes -the ones she uses on her parents to get to stay up an extra hour and watch TV- to get a sticker back in May). Ms. Kendo (This is significant, she is the only one of my students that I call by her last name... I'm that impressed with her). Comes up to Mr. Second year and I after class after completing her assignment and asks Mr. Second Year to put his "Hanko" on the paper.

A Hanko, you might remember, is the Japanese equivalent of a signature. It's a stamp with your family name imprinted on it... it's registered with the government and is your legal-binding signature should you place it on an official document. I happen to have one myself... something I shall treasure)

So, Mr Second Year writes "Ha N Ko" in Japanese letters on her textbook page.

"No, no no..." She says, "Your... um... (English:) Sign please!"

So Mr. Second Year signs the page and she looks dead at me.

I smile (I fear the EYES... so I am not about to turn her down), I sign the page.

She thanks us distractedly and walks away, staring at her new prize as if she had gotten the signatures of the Beatles themselves...

On to the First Years:

It's special class with Mouse-Chan and Direct-Kun. We are working on a written portion of the textbook. Direct-Kun has never been good at writing, in Japanese or English. He really doesn't enjoy it. Mouse-chan has a speech impediment, but that doesn't hurt her ability to write, so she is always finishing these things before Direct-Kun.

So we have to write a little introduction (The First years have, in theory, just learned the Alphabet and the very basics of English, so this is a good start). In the normal First Year classes, they need to write a little about themselves; "I belong to the Brass Band Club" or "I like Sushi". For Mouse and Direct, we have to be a little simpler; so all they have to do is copy the example introduction from the textbook, replacing "Kanta Ken" with their names. It's a simple assignment...

Or so I thought.

I sit down with Mouse-Chan and start the process with her, Ms. First Year works with Direct. Mouse needs a little coaching to get started on things, but once she gets going it takes no time at all for her to copy the entire thing over.

She's done... Direct doesn't even have "My name is..." yet. He looks right on the edge of vapor-lock too... his face is all contorted in concentration.

Ms First Year looks at me and says (In English): He doesn't like to write.

So Mouse-Chan and I begin reciting her introduction (She hates that, but she actually is easier to understand in English than in Japanese because she takes more care with her sounds).

We get three passes through and Ms First Year says: "What's wrong Direct-Kun?" I look over at Direct-Kun and he is crying. Not sobbing, but he is working so hard at writing and is so frustrated that tears are rolling down his cheeks.

Ms First Year starts a regimen of "Don't cry, your doing fine".

I feel bad for Direct-Kun. I've been there in my own way. Hoping that the bell will just ring and I can go on my way, out of the scrutiny of the teacher.

The problem is that Ms.First Year is embarrassed by this, and when she's embarrassed, she tends to laugh nervously... Which makes me feel even worse for Direct Kun. Mouse Chan (Who has sort of become Direct Kun's surrogate sister), looks at me with real concern. I draw my mouth into a thin line, take a deep breath, and continue to work with Mouse-Chan.

Then, Direct-Kun says something that totally shocks me, he says: "Maybe if I write my own thing I can get past this. Maybe I don't like copying out of the textbook."

This totally changes my impression of what is going on. Direct-Kun wants to get past this... this isn't a biding time until class ends tactic (As it was with me in school), he really wants to write.

My respect for him skyrockets.

Ultimately, he finishes the project (about seven seconds after the chime starts to ring), and we move on to the next class.

Direct-Kun, though, seems to be heartened by finishing that paper. It was a little victory for him.

---Me.

I'm living in the 1950's

And it really is wierd:

MyTown looks like it could easily be from Leave it to Beaver, the streets are cute and lined with shops, and there is ample room to bike everywhere. Housing is different, but this is Japan.

All of my science teachers wear white lab coats. There is no Air Conditioning except in certain areas (The Teacher's Room, the Nurses Office and the Principals Office). I don't think there is any heating, either, and though not a problem for me, I can see this being an issue for my students.

All of my kids are relatively nice, we have had one fight all year and it has been between two boys over a bike. They think the most risky thing to do is to ask teachers if they are married.

Gas Stations close at 8PM, the Pharmacy closes at 6, and my entire city closes at midnight.

Kids cycle by you and greet you.

Old ladies offer you cookies while you are waiting for a bus.

There are no dryers, we hang our laundry out to dry outside our houses.

Police officers only show up at our school to give kids a "Bicycle saftey" pep talk or to cheer on teams during our Sports Day Events.

While I'm at it; I have never seen anyone pulled over, ever. I have never seen a speed trap. In fact, rarely do I ever see police cars. Everyone is just nice to one another. Police are in the city to direct traffic in and out of the new mall, help old ladies cross the street, and get cats out of trees.

You can leave your wallet on a train and it will be at the next station, unmolested... sometimes with a note attached from the person who found it expressing his wishes that you recover this most important item (This actually happened to Maia, complete with the cute note).

It'll be rather jarring to get back to an American city...

But I guess I'll worry about that later, a stranger just said "hi" to me out of the blue. :)

--Me.

`Never driven in a typhoon before...

Yet another first... That'd be (roughly) me, under the red circle.















This is what is left of (I believe) Tropical Typhoon 17 (Not a very big storm by any stretch of the imagination). It has, however, dumped a lot of rain on MyTown, as well as seriously gusty winds... And driving was pretty... erm... interesting... it was like being in the movie "Twister"... This storm doesn't even rate on any storm tracking website... I can't even imagine what driving would be like in a real Typhoon...

-Me.

An Evening of note.

Today I held in my hands three swords, two date back to the Edo era of Japan, about 350 years ago, and one dates back to the Muromachi Era, 700 years ago.

The Muromachi sword is beautiful... with a distinct difference in the Hamon (The line on the blade). The Edo swords have blood gutters, something the Muromachi sword is missing (as that was an invention that came along in about the 16th century)

The Muromachi sword was involved in many wars over the years, and you can tell that it has taken many lives. There is an aura about it, it is very much the definition of a living weapon.

Stunningly beautiful.

I held these swords in my hands.

On a separate note: during our mid-practice tea (Japanese teatime is very different from British teatime... :D) Sensei confided in me that up until now, he tended to stay away from foreigners, but with me, he decided to be different.

I'm not sure why that is. Maybe it's my winning personality and stunning good looks....

Right.

More likely, however, it is the fact that I am not acting like an American, I'm acting like a Japanese...

But I have now run straight into the prejudice... and I have somehow missed it...

Maybe I’m a foreigner, but these people are being very friendly, and have taken me in… even though they are a little scared of foreigners.

To be honest, I’m not sure how to handle that… I guess I shall continue as I have all along: Smiling and doing my very best.

Also, Sensei has already started to attack my accent, trying to make me stop sounding so wierd...

He has also decided that he is giving me 6 months and then he is banning English from his Dojo.

This is a challenge I shall happily accept.

So, I have 6 months... lets see what I can do... :)

---Me.

STS 115 Closes

Atlantis touched down this morning at 6:30 with no problems at all.

I wish I had seen it, but I had to leave for the Dojo just after the Deorbit OMS burn...

Sensei asked me if I was dedicated... I guess it can't get more dedicated for me than leaving just as a shuttle is beginning a deorbit burn for return to Earth...

---Me.

Telling...

This one'll get your blood going, Mal;

Mr 2nd year, whom has become a real good friend of mine, was talking to me yesterday. It turns out he and I both have something unfortunate in common; Insomnia.

His is more pronounced than mine, he also has narcolepsy it turns out... and he is having difficulty staying awake at work.

I talk to him and he tells me that his doctor has put him on medication for his sleep condition. That's good, I think, as he is obviously not getting REM sleep.

His doctor put him on Ritalin.

I'm not kidding. Ritalin, to keep him awake.

Not a sleeping pill to put him to sleep, but rather a stimulant to keep him awake.

It's very much a telling thing, Japan has banned Melatonin, most sleeping pills, and Aspirin is expensive and can only be purchased from a pharmacist. The Japanese aren't into pills like we are in America... which, I actually think is a good thing...

But this man is not sleeping well... and so they put him on stimulants?!?

It tells something about this culture; many Japanese are afraid of sleeping pills... not because they are addictive, but because they might accidentally oversleep and miss work...

What a telling statement of this culture...

---Me.

Culture shock...

One of my fellow students at the Dojo is a High school English Teacher. That's terribly convinient as that way I can actually get a translation of what Sensei says (Though he told me that he will never teach me anything that he can't show me, which is something really cool)

So I'm being "interveiwed" to join the Dojo (This is standard practice in a Japanese Dojo) And the Teacher says: "This may seem like a really rude question but ... how dedicated are you to learning Kyudo?"

Odd, I didn't think that was rude at all. So I answer him, honestly. And he seems relieved because the most rude question is now over with.

Then he relaxes and moves on to the "Non-Rude" qustions:

"How much do you make a month?" he asks...

Japan is such a difference culture. But I didn't flinch, I just answered his question and smiled...

I live in another culture, so I answer the question. I presume Sensei has asked this of every one of the members. The Teacher said something about me attending training camps, so I'm guessing that was what the question was geared around.

I just wonder how many people would have turned to Sensei and said "Why do you need to know that information?" And started a whole incident because of that.

Which would have made nothing but unhappiness.

The best thing I have learned so far from being in Japan is that if you really want to get the job done, you leave your American issues in America. Getting offended or upset at strange times does nothing to help the situation :)

Bow when you are supposed to bow, answer the questions you are supposed to answer, no matter what your upbringing says to do. All in all; be Japanese. When you come back to America, Be Amercian... until then, be part of the culture.

I've watched many of my fellow ALT's not learn this lesson... and those seem to be the folks that think Japanese are xenophobic, distant and scared of the world.

I belong to a Japanese Dojo; where you are close friends with your fellow Dojo-folks, where they will come rescue you in a bad situation, etc (many of them have been scurrying to find and copy anything about Kyudo in English that they can for their newest member... these are certainly not xenophobic folks :D)

Yet more observations of the dimunitive but interesting folks on this side of the Pacific. :)

---Me.

I belong to a Dojo...

Mother believed that things happen for a reason. She also believed firmly that when things happen and they are right, you will know because many things will "fall into place".

I practiced Kyudo in Colorado. Kyudo is Japanese Zen Archery. It is a martial art, like Karate or Judo, but it is very different. It's an art chock full of ritual and practice and is nothing like (As one might imagine) American archery. The goal is to do it correctly, not to hit the target (Though that is in there somewhere).

When I started Kyudo in America, I really enjoyed it. It is a martial art unlike any other, it is beautiful to watch. It's like Japanese Tea Ceremony (Which is also phenominally beautiful to watch).

When my Sensei and I parted ways, I thought my Kyudo days were at an end.

I was wrong.

Mrs 1st year Social Studies and I were talking (Roughly because she doesn't speak any English at all) and I told her about my teacher in America and how I really loved Kyudo.

"My husband teaches Kyudo." She tells me.

"Really, he's lucky." I say

"Come to our house at 7PM on Thursday" she tells me (Tells me... not asks me)

So I do.

I show up and meet Mr.Kyudo, he is a wonderfly cheerful fellow in his mid 60's. He smiles, greets me and he starts asking me questions; where are you from? What do you like about Kyudo? What Rank were you? (For the record; Zero rank... none at all :D). Then a student joins, and another and another... and two more a little later on.

Then that was all.

There were five students before the night was over. And they all agreed to let me into the Dojo... I am their sixth.

There is a young lady in her late 20s, a young man in his 20s, both are 4th Dan (which means about 10 years), there is a fellow in his late 40s, who is (Thankfully) a High School English teacher, and another man in his 50's, who is a Japanese teacher, lastly there is another beginner, about my age. Who has just begun and is still considered Zero Dan.

Then there is the teacher.

He hands me a book, in English, called "Kyudo". I'm very familiar with this book, it is one of my treasured books back at home.

My teachers' master wrote it.

My teacher has won several national tournements... and is ranked in the top 10 in the nation.

I belong to a Dojo...

I believe that I am in the right place at the right time.

---Me.

Be very careful...

This weeks grammar point in the 3rd years was "Would you (Verb) with me?" As in "Would you play basketball with me?" We are moving into the more polite parts of the language.

So after the lesson on the grammar, Mrs. Third Year puts them onto asking each other (And this always means me too as I wander around letting them ask me questions to practice) questions.

I get to a lovely young lady who looks at me with all earnestness and says:

"Would you sleep with me?"

I raise my eyebrows in the classic "Are you sure you wanted to say that?" pose...

Then her face gets all contorted and she says in Japanese: "No, not "sleep"... um... what is the word..."

I wait patiently for her to fish out what word she was thinking of, being extremely careful not to show any adverse reaction to her question (They -my students- have been trying to figure out what really bothers Guy-sensei, I know that if I let on what this girl really said... I'd never hear the end of it...).

"WALK!" She suddenly exclaims, "Would you walk with me?"

I nod, giving her the "You did it right" thumbs up, and move along... trying very hard not to chuckle...

Walk... sleep... it's interesting that these two words, being used in normal English, are, indeed rather interchangeable (It's a lot harder to remember verbs when you learned all of them at the same time... and it should be noted these kids aren't learning these words with the activity attached, no one asks them how they slept or if they are going for a walk...), but add the level of nuance, and it becomes a bizarre innuendo in a big hurry.

Just another day at MySchool...

--Me.

STS 115

Mission: STS-115,

Orbiter: Atlantis (OV-104) on its 27th flight.

Mission Commander Brent Jett, Pilot Chris Ferguson, Mission Specialists Daniel Burbank, Steven MacLean, Heidemarie Stefanyshyn-Piper and Joseph Tanner

Launch: Sept. 9, 2006 11:15 a.m. EDT (1515 GMT) Pad 39B, Kennedy Space Center, Florida

"Commander Brent Jett and his five crewmates will install a new 17-ton segment of the station's truss backbone, adding a new set of giant solar panels and batteries to the complex. Three spacewalks are planned." -NASA

-------

"Atlantis is named for the primary research sailing vessel used by the Woods Hole Oceanographic Institute from 1930 to 1966 and was the first vessel to use electronic sounding devices to map the ocean floor. The two-masted, 460-ton ketch was the first U.S. vessel to be used for oceanographic research. Such research was considered to be one of the last bastions of the sailing vessel as steam-and-diesel-powered vessels dominated the waterways." --Also NASA... but it's a cool fact anyway :D

---Me.

A message for Alex

Guys, I don't think Alex reads my blog, so if you would pass this along to him;

A while back, we had one of those "Write in answers and then pass it along to everyone else's blog" things. Which, I might add, I didn't do here because it's not something I do... chain anythings are silly to me... I don't know why...

Anyway, Alex had responded to me in one of those and he set forth a challenge:

"2. I challenge you to find the time to take up Kyu-do in Japan, cause that would be way cool."

Please tell him that is done. I have found a sensei here... ranked in the top 10 in the nation. I shall be starting classes soon.

This challenge is not as easy as it may have sounded. We still can't find a single Kendo (Sword fighting Dojo) in this state that is for adults (for kids, they are everywhere... for adults... not so much...)... in fact, for adults you can do Karate, and that's about it.

It seems strange, since this is the land from which these skills came... but Japan has moved away from it's marital heritage, and that means these ancient arts are being put aside...

Oh... I shall also be learning tea ceremony. Because I want to. :)

Lets Dancing!

School has started again, and that means that I'm less likely to be bored, start reading someone elses blog, getting bent out of shape, and posting a politically charged rant on my own blog :)

Everybody cheers! :D

Anyway, school has started again. We started work Friday (You never really appreciate America and the "Well, the first starts on a Friday, we'll start on the 4th, then" Theory until you are no longer in America...). I returned to work to find that one of my students has placed within the top three in Kendo. The entire school is a-twitter about that (And I'm really proud of him, he's a particularly good Kendo-ka, good spirit!). Anyway, we all gather in the gym for a public presentation of the medal, and it was a really neat experience.

The rest of the day, I sat at my desk and drew a lot...

I'm certainly not complaining, it just feels funny... I'm getting paid to sit around and draw...

It's against my work ethic...

Anyway, before you all get into the "Hey! Enjoy it" phase, I actually spend a lot of my time sitting at my desk doing nothing of note. It's sorta the roll of the Junior High teacher... Unlike the middle schools, we don't make lesson plans, and many schools (mine included) don't really like to play games, so I don't have anything to prepare... So when I'm not in class, I sit at my desk and write or draw or womething cool.

After a while, it gets a little old.

Hopefully soon I'll get a computer that I can take to school with me... but that's another story.

So, this week is devoted to the ancient Japanese tradition of "Sports Day". This is a day devoted entirely to running each and every one of the students and teachers into the ground. The Sports Day itself is a great day of competition. Like the Olympics, except just for MySchool... But it's so important that we actually practice for Sports Day...

...Which means I sit at my desk all this week...

So I stock up on things that need doing, stories I'm working on, comics I'm drawing, etc. And I head to school.

I spend most of my morning doing these things, when Mr. Language Arts comes up to me and says: "Guy Sensei, Lets Dancing!" And he motions me to follow him.

At this moment, I'd like to point out something very interesting about languages. We all know that languages are different in words and grammer... but one thing that always shocks me is that there is also a difference in usage between languages...

And the "Lets ..." function is one of those glaring differences in our languages. The Japanese language actually has a congigation of the verb for "lets"... It's the mashoo/deshoo function (Mah-show, Deh show). Ikimasu= To Go, Ikimashoo=Lets go. It's not really that simple, but when those who are not fluent in English (As my dear friend Mr. Language Arts teacher) tries to translate directly "Dansu o Shimashoo" It comes out as "Lets Dance"... now he knows that you need to change the Verb tense in English too, and he's good at that! So he goes for the ...ing... and viola! you get "Lets Dancing!"

I hear the "Mashoo/Deshoo" function all the time in Japanese... they must "Lets Driving" and "lets eating" and "lets walking the dog!" all the time... it's very different than in English... the Japanese do everything together, they are all really close here, it makes sense... it's just interesting to note that even their language is close in this way.

So I lets Dancing!

I'll explain about the Dancing next :)


---Me.